The Paradox of Doreen

Walking down Brock University minding my own business, I encountered a character so foul, so atrocious, so bespeaking of suicide that I managed to swirve out of its path before utter destruction. I sit here writing this as a testament for the survival of my life. Here it is:

---

It had been two weeks before midterm exams were underway. My friend Catwoman asked to meet me to meet her on the main floor of the library. The library was a place designed specifically for study group sessions that also had a photocopy areas surrounding the perimeter of the room. Walking down the hallway, I encountered some dumb blondes as usual and perhaps walked by 30 or so people and found that there were no black or brown people of the 30. There were probably 29 asian people of the 30 I walked past on my way to the library. It was around the time when exams were nearing and it was 2 weeks before our first exam---Communication Studies.

At around 12:30pm I stepped foot into the library and found that there were 2 black people on different computers. I looked around the room and found that the room measured 4 meters across on all sides---left, right, up, down (having listed these, I saved you an attempt to construct what I meant about "all sides). I did have lunch before coming the library so I was assured that I'd be studying efficiently. When I stepped into the study group/photocopy area room, guess what? There were more asian people and 1 black person and several caucasian people.

Earlier that day I told my friend Darkwing Duck to meet me in the library 12:30 in the photocopy area/study room section of the main floor of the library. When he came, he was utterly shocked at the grotesque sight in which he later told me appalled his very senses---Doreen.....

To describe her would take eternity. She concretely defined herself among the stereotypes of common dumbfounded black females consistently aired on BET (Black Entertainment Television). This station isn't entertainment but a station which exploits the black stereotype producing more idiotically deranged losers with IQs of 60 or less---the quotient of retardation. Not only was her level of retardation explicitly expressed through her mental state and reasoning capacities, it also showed in her face. I was sure I had seen a the dumbness of blonde white skinned stereotypes reflected upon a black dumbfounded retard. I was quite amused actually but Darkwing Duck showed a grief-stricken expression (a What-The-Fuck-Had-I-Just-Seen expression).

In my attempt to assist Catwoman in her Communications Studies exam outline provided by Professor Bradley, Doreen interrupted! Interestingly though she asked me what the definition of a "proletariet" was to which I replied, "Are you serious?" Sadly I began to realize the level of intellectual-limited students Brock University accepted. In my attempt to say "Stuff," I overtly used language beyond Doreen's capacity of understanding which Darkwing Duck found humourous. Throughout the session, I deployed language which shut Doreen off completely from my attempt to assist Catwoman.

However, I sadly ended up talking to Doreen. The paradox is what I call Mind Rape. Darkwing Duck refers to this comparison as, "The psychological equivalent to the torture that goes on in Guantanamo Bay." He thoroughly believes that she "probably takes [...] one hour to cook minute rice." Moreover, Darkwing Duck thoroughly notes that "She's so dumb...FUCK! SHE'S SO DUMB!"

In my attempt to ceaze laughing at Darkwing Duck's expression across the table, I look sternly into the dumbness that is Doreen. From my observation, I have titled this paradox Mind Rape. This is my definition of Mind Rape: It occurs among black people who constantly watch BET and mimick those stereotypes in real life only to show their retarded behaviour, expressions, and intelligence quotient of 60 or less (retardation) with constant memory loss and lack of memory storage beyond two words.

What's the paradox you ask? Simple! If you're a black woman, you're 7/10 times going to be inflicted upon this disease which I call Mind Rape. Since white people don't watch BET, I can safely assume the black populace watches BET rather than CBC. If you think this is stereotype, fuck you. It is observational analysis interpreted in a way that leads me to conclude such an idea. It is merely BET's fault.